There's a reason to everything.

There's a reason why i hate going home late at night, especially when i am all by myself. That explains why i have always insists on going home by early night. I never told anyone actually and i don't intend to. And it has got nothing to do with ghosts, seriously. Ever since that night I have always felt that someone, whoever that may be, is going to hurt me in one way or another. That person may be a complete stranger to me and they may as well just happened to be walking the same route as me and not going to even go near me much less touch me but then i got paranoid and scared myself with all those thoughts. I hate that. I really do. I hate how everytime i am alone outside, my mind tends to force believe that everyone around me is out to hurt me and that feeling just sucks. Whenever i heard footsteps and craned my neck to see who's behind me, i can feel my heart thumping so hard and me pace quickened. Even a tinny voice or signs that someone is near me made me had the familiar conviction that a similar incident is going to happen. And so, silently i remind myself to keep breathing, pretend that someone else is with me, anybody just to subdue my feelings. And it goes that way the whole time i am out. Nothing but fear and imagination. Because that is all i have ever known during these times of my life, its a complete nightmare. Sometimes, i got scared for no reason at all. I never felt safe. That fear that has been following me, i wish i could overcome it but its almost next to impossible given how i was traumatized by it for almost a year now.