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I will hold you in my heart until i can hold you in my arms.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Hello 2011 Goodbye 2010

Its finally the new year, here im hoping for an amazing 2011 and it goes to all my readers too. I'd be lying if i were to concede my life has been smooth sailing, i would not like to think that way either because i have learned that the hardest things in life sometimes are the ones that taught you the most important lesson(s). Life sure has taught me a lesson or two, or maybe more.

2006 was sort of an important year for me as it was the PSLE year but being me back then i could not care less. I was always the cause of worry for both my parents. I was no doubt, the 'devil', i was in cahoot with 'bad' kids to do all the things that were clearly forbidden of us. I got into massive endless troubles with almost everyone and got myself out of it. Frankly speaking, i never studied for exams, only glanced through the mountains of papers i did. I cheated (not during the actual PSLE, of course!), i was chased by my teacher with a broom, mind you!, my friends and i were given the name 'Devil of the First Degree'. Everyone knew us by that name. We sort of 'rule' the school but that was back then. I was a regular in the principal office, my name was written down on the 'bad records' whereby it will be with you wherever you go to so everyone will be aware of your records but my principal was a kind hearted soul she gave me countless of chances and finally blotted my name out from the list. There were more but obviously im never going to write it down play by play here. I didnt know what i was thinking back then but as some people might say, 'Friends have the biggest influence'. Its the universal truth alright. I could not agree more.

Fast foward i am finally a teenager and i left my then life just like that. I became a new person. I realized how stupid and irrational i used to be. I'd changed for the good. Anw, on another note, turning into a teenager is harder than i thought. I lost a bestfriend. The first one is always the most painful. Things just happened and i watched her left hoping we could still preserve what we used to have. But no. We didnt call that often anymore, the conversations became awkward and soon, she was not in my life anymore. I could write down the things you loved without my brain pitching in at all. We probably had the best conversations. We did things together, getting sappy over our dramas, we giggled about boys and this one always leave me confused. She's sort of something special and i will always have this soft spot for her. Just in a tiny corner of my heart...gosh I miss her. Well maybe i didnt try hard enough. Maybe i was too ignorant. Maybe i was too oblivious to her situation that all it took was one revelation to destroy what we had. Maybe i never bother to make things right again when i clearly know its not. Maybe i was too weak to hold on. Or maybe i should stop making excuses and fob myself with the same reason all the time. Maybe i am just a bad friend. (Remember we promised to never leave each other no matter what happened? What happened to that? Im sorry if i messed up this time. lylas.)



Why am i getting emotional at a time like this. Yeah okay. Byeeeeee am going to invade my body with more fats Haha. Today i met my girls. We took pictures but im seeing them tomorrow again..and...saturday too and...monday so i'll have them here by then. Wish us all the best for monday!