A Second Heart.

The past has made me insecure. Experience has made me mature. Happiness has made me vulnerable. The future makes me think deeper. Dissapointment has made me become self-reliant. Following the crowd led to me, being independent. Walking through the path that is most visible to the eye has made me curious about the future. The present is stil a stuggle.


Love has made me insecure, matured, vulnerable, think, self-reliant, independent, curious and scared.


So right when my eyes found you a little while ago, i would be lying if i'd said my heart wasn't thumping hard. You just made my stomach twist pleasantly. My mind was already racing ahead, gathering facts and retrieving memories and putting the puzzle together into what i suddenly realized was the bitter truth. That i was forgotten. Somehow.


At times like now, i really think life needed a fastforward button because there were days you just didn't want to have to relive through, not again, but they kept coming around and you were powerless to stop time or speed it up, at the very least or do anything to keep from having to face it. Well i hope my feelings for you would evaporate like a morning mist so the next time we happened to 'casually' bumped into each other, i won't feel a twinge of disappointment or best of all, neutral.

On a different note, last wednesday was Racial Harmony. I wore Chinese (I borrowed from Diana actually) and teachers/schoolmates complimented me on how i looked long but Ms. Y thought the slits were too high and in malay class everyone had their costume on well, excluding Maxxy. He kinda ruined the whole ambience. Its the usual routine we did when celebrating such events. Took (preetttaaayy) peektures after school with my girls and they have yet to upload them. I predict it is going to be in a few weeks time?

xoxo

Iamoveryou.

Hi there, really sorry for the lack of updates. Lots of things going on right now and life's pretty packed/hectic. I have been busy with school that i barely have time for myself and i am not exaggerating or whatever you may think. With mock exams almost everyday, remedial lessons after school till late evening at times and on top of that recently, my school are having Night Study till 9pm everyday until prelims. Just looking at my schedule book (its a small diary that i keep and where i write down all homeworks and exams date but never actually referred to it-so its a little pointless).


Well i can't really do much update about everything all at once now coz i am actually running late for school. See what i mean? I don't even have much time to sit down and do stuffs. I got lots of things to think about. From homeworks to studying for exam. But all that won't keep me away from my social life. I need them to survive. Speaking of which, tomorrow is Racial Harmony Day!!! which means we would be encouraged to put on different ethnic costumes and apart from that, we will have TURKEY people coming over to serve us nice foodsss!!! And not to forget, there will be Popsicle foods :)


GTG now, til then!


XOXO.

Love will find its way.

hi, its the second post for today and this is practically nothing concerning you. So further reading is rather optional.


you did it again, you got me and yet again. i broke a promise i realized that. quick flash of what i saw made me realized that you're no different either. those words you said, circled through my brain. i cant stop thinking about what you wrote and believe it or not, i actually cried. I ACTUALLY DID FOR SOME STUPID UNIMPORTANT A NOBODY GUY like you. i feel it happening to me, this horrible pain inside me so i pressed my face against the pillow as if i could scour away the memory of you.
and there you are, unknowingly talk to me as though nothing happened, as if all of your words were meant to stand in for everything. but you know what? right now, i really dont give a shit i dont facebook-stalk you anymore or think anything beyond. i will suppress my feelings everytime you talk to me coz i dont want to be reminded of how you made me genuinely happy then.


somehow i figured that you're not worth my time. but believe me, (okay this may sound a little corny but wtv) if we're meant to be together, then somehow someday we'll cross paths again. so till then, i'll wait for that day to come, well provided that we're destined of course.


xoxo,
me.

i dont want to be one of those girls.

Sorry for not updating on last weekend. Well anyway, we went to universal studio on Sunday. The tickets are selling out fast and i couldnt wait till they're done with the maintenance for the roller coaster ride. i reckon that would be super thrilling as i have never been on a ride that is anything like the one i saw at Sentosa.
I did nothing much on weekends except to do some holiday homeworks (haha, im yet to complete june hols hw) and on top of that, there are other works piling up.


Moving on, school hasnt been so bad either. So far, i've been enjoying school life as it is although i realized malay oral is in 2 days time and i have yet to prepare anything. I suck at it, i hardly score distinction for oral because there are always bound to have certain words i have difficulty understanding during conversation. I barely make it for school's so tell me, what am i to do? But wtv, i'll get through it. somehow i will.


Today i had a lovely lunch with Diana <33. We had a good talk through lunch and everything. So, its great and school was no different from any other school days. The same old boring dreading dull dry lessons but only i like our new co-form. He looks like he has a mixture of many bloods because he looks real nice.


Well i think thats enough for today. Right now, i wish i the earth was flat so that i could push away people like you to another side of the universe.