I love my mother veryveryvery much.

I went Hari Raya with my girls and boys and as expected, we had fun. Like the previous year too, we went home at 1am. (MORE PRETTY) Pictures are at Facebook :) And last weeked, i went to Malaysia with my close relatives and by night my feet hurts like hell mainly because i was wearing heels...and i regret it, a lot. Nevertheless, it was a fun trip going shopping at  a not-so-foreign-place.


On another note, prelims result were disappointing and demoralising enough. I failed and scored an F for math and science. But i am content with everything else, for that matter. Never mind for my math i can still push myself. Speaking of which, I just spoke to Mr. Ng on the phone, he insisted on speaking to my parents because of my poor results. -________________________-


O levels is in 26 days and my urgency level is still at a pathetic zero. zilch. nothing.


Anyway, i had the most terrifying dream last night, or rather a nightmare that plagued me every time I am awake and im not gonna tell you play-by-play. I swear to anything although it was just a nightmare it was so surreal i had to pinch myself to make me realize on reality. Believe it or not, it was the most terrifying moment, as i woke up this morning with tears rolling down my cheeks. See how scary it is? It was not anything involving ghosts or someone kidnapping me or anything pysical. It was emotionally disturbing and i tear up a little when i told F this morning. But still the good side that came out of it, everytime i thought of you, last night's nightmare somehow reminded me to appreciate you more because....well, you never know what's gonna happened in life, right?


Apart from that, there has been alot going on recently, i mean in life generally. People come and go but i did not expect that from you, at all. If what i thought was the reason you have been ignoring me, then i reckon you are being immature. I have the right to do what i did but you don't have the right to stop me from doing it. AT ALL. and trying so hard to prove to me that you're better off without me by faking everything? Gosh, I am speechless. Really i am.


Sorry for the lack of updates these days. Nothing in my life right now is going right. Sigh.


ps/ you are five and i am six but so? If i say i do means i do.

i heart you.

hello there.

Now am i glad prelims are finally over. But still, it doesn't matter because what matters now is O levels which are only 38 days away. I have to thank the school for initiating the electronic flasher that practically serves as a reminder to us, to be built in. But I reckon it is more pressurizing.

Anyway, earlier this morning we had science practical. Truth be told, it was basically a killer. My gut tells me im gonna do well for chemistry (okay, maybe not that well, but at least a pass) and i totally am going to flunk physics. The moment i read the procedures my mind went blank. So i decided to depend on WC (FYI, he has got a computer for a brain-seriously). I watched him set up his experiment and carefully did mine the same, except that my measurement was all wrong. I was determined to finally pass science but physics paper 2  and practical was demoralising enough so there goes my chance. Seriously, i marvel at why i totally suck at it even when i had sleepless nights mugging for it and for some weird resons, that motivates me to study harder. Call me weird or anything, i don't care.

Oh and speaking of which, practical for me ended at 9:08am (shift 1) and we were being quarantined at the gym until 12:45pm. It was partly a torture because i had totally forgotten to bring along anything (food, i mean because we were not allowed to step our feet outside the gym) and so we ended up talking and playing tic-tac-toe. And on top of that, because we were not allowed to be beyond the gym, the canteen came up to us. Not literally of course. The aunties went up to take our orders. So, they were not heartless at all.

Moving on, yesterday was exceptionally fun <33. Mainly because Lia and I went over to Esty's house for a movie marathon. We had a good laugh, that is. And for some weird reasons Lia visited the toilet few times every few minutes even when she hasn't had any much drinks. Hah, we should do it again and next time bring in more people ;)

HeartBreak Warfare.

I know i had promised to isolate myself from the internet but then again, promises are meant to be broken. Anyway, today marks the third day in September. Suddenly feels like the rest of the school year is coming on so fast. Prelims will soon be gone, and few weeks of lessons/school then its official. The ever-more nerve wrecking O levels. Thinking about it already is frightening. But never mind on that part, there's no use fretting over it because its just another stepping stone in life. Everyone has to go through it anyway.


The only thing that has been on my mind is this:


What's going to happen to my girls  (plus boys) and i after we graduate? Are we going to stay together and still be closer than ever and things will remain just the way it is few years down the road or are we going to be busy with our so called 'new' life and leave everything behind to make room for new things? I swear to anything, those thoughts made me tear up a little. Okayy i realized this post is going to be sappy so further reading is optional.


For being who i am, i am not sure how im going to cope with not having them as time passes. I am so used to our kind of atmosphere, the same faces i loved that i see everyday and i couldn't have possibly picked a better crowd. I loved them and gonna make the best out of every moment. They are there everytime and their joyous spirits never fails to bring my mood up a notch. From the time we spent idling, having  heart-2-heart talks, or even conversations that are flat out boring, exchanging secrets knowing by heart that you wouldnt't judge me, to the times we spent laughing our heads off about the stupid/nonsensical things we did together, I am absolutely, positively sure that when we are already on our separate ways pursuing many different things, those were the exact moments i would want to relive again and again. Because i am positive that 10 years down the road, my girls and boys will stay on my mind and in my prayers. I loved you all very very very much.


For as long as we have been together, i have a hard time trying to recall the moments that we fought and as much as i tried to remember, i just can't. Maybe because we are way mature than some people  that we know the best way to deal with things instead of sulking and waiting on others to apologize because you think the world revolves around only you-and that's one of the many things i loved about you guys. Oh, scratch that. Girls.


I know it may be a little too early to be talking about all this things but it won't hurt either to be thinking about it now and thats just the way i am- i tend to overthink everything.


I reckon its my way of getting myself prepared mentally and..emotionally for when that moment comes, i think it will be way heartbreaking than typing it out.


Moving on, we had History paper earlier today and i swear section A was horrible, extremely horrible to the point that it actually, kinda, made me lose hope. I mean, seriously, i don't understand a word about it. And, there goes my aim to get a disticntion.

For the obvious, not everyone is in the picture.